RADICAL VULNERABILITY
WHEELCHAIR BURLESQUE
QUEERCRIP realities
spoken word
collective CARE
CIRCUS CABARET
INTERDEPENDENCY

INDICTMENT

for Disability Day of Mourning 2018

March 1st

I heard your names 3 times - 

once as I listened to the Sydney vigil livestream, 

once as I attended the New Westminster vigil, 

and once as I said them aloud in my room, 

alone.

I will remember

my name could have been among yours.

It very nearly was. 

Our deaths are indexed by year, 

100 added this year alone - 

when we are killed, 

we are not always counted

until a search party is sent,

tracing clues in articles 

-

"the parents were so brave

to wait so long to kill him" 

-

"her mother just didn't know what to do anymore -

I can't even blame her,

I'd have done the same" 

-

all these excuses

indictments, were we

less of a burden

less of a hassle.

This family

of crips

and ills 

and disableds

has lost so many 

and we have not even been allowed

a number.

And we are still here.

In all our broken-hearted wandering,

we are still here.

In all our bone-aching loss,

we are still here.

In all our futuristic freak show, 

accidental genius,

pain-staking progress - 

In all our fucked up brilliance, 

we 

are still here. 

Look at us,

surviving this apocalypse.

There will be no 

abled saviour

come to pull us from our misery

only to remember, our lives

are only worth a lesson. 

We

are saving ourselves.

And in our saving

we remember.

Each name

that was a life

that was not held with due care. 

We remember.

Each ending, 

at 3 months

or 90 years,

that was not found in its due time.

We remember. 

And we swear 

to continue remembering

until it could not have been us.

Until it never nearly was.

oratorealis
verses festival of words
after sagamihara
 
blackberry cove
vancouver poetry slam
circuswest
briarpatch

SPOKEN WORD & INTERDISCIPLINARY PERFORMANCES

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Tel: 604-440-5116 | Email: quinelilawrence@gmail.com

Background photo by Photos by K.Ho